Little Gems

Craigslist is full of them. From "Guy wearing no underwear in Starbucks- I enjoyed watching your dick flop around" to "Seeking naked housemate for reduced rent", they provide hours of entertainment and you feel like you're missing out by not being able to see all these things happen live. Looking through the apartment listing, I came across this gem:

I am looking for a chill open-minded guy to share a studio with. It's a small space. No privacy. I am willing share the space with two guys if necessary. Basically, just wanting someone short term who wants to save money. I have a one eyed cat. Please be cool with nudity and I often wear a Godzilla mask and shove random objects up my ass. You'll have to be okay with that.

And below, there was a picture of someone wearing a dinosaur mask that looked like it had been made for a child's school project.

I actually emailed the ad. Here is the copied email:

So, I'm wondering what kind of objects you are talking about? I'm okay
with anything up to the same girth as a baseball bat. But anything
wider than that might make me a little uncomfortable. Okay, maybe I
could budge and say no wider than an average-sized head. Then things
start to get weird.

Unfortunately I received an email back from the "mailer daemon" (does anyone ever wonder why they don't just spell it "demon"?) saying the listing was no longer active. I really would like to meet the strange individual who posted it.

Songs to fuck to

Put simply, a slutty porn track with what was at its time, a break-all-the-rules music video, "Justify My Love" serves as a track that can make even the most sexually shackled Stepford wife morph into Jenna Jameson. Hearing the synthesizer's alluringly floating tones brings me back to my childhood, when I knew I wanted to have sex with men but didn't know if it was allowed. Thanks to 90s Madonna, millions of little boys were taught it was okay to flaunt your sexuality.

It's been... four days since I logged in to that otherworldly entity. First, my mornings seemed to be lacking in something, without the barrage of the self-indulgent "mini feed".
Now, without that superfluous knowledge in my brain, I have time to focus on my own thoughts.

The close, foetid galleries of Facebook

In the opening pages of "Cloudstreet", Tim Winton makes an observation about death, and thinking about your loved ones, whose lives continue without you- "And you can't help but worry for them, love them, want for them - those who go on down the close, foetid galleries of time ad space without you."
In many ways, I can draw a parallel to that of my abstinence from FB. I think about this foetid stench, whose excrement is posted daily in a "mini-feed"- a misleading name if ever there was. There is nothing 'mini' about it for me at the moment. Every posting had the potential to feature a name which would pull at my heartstrings, a name which I couldn't see without feeling a deep impact, caused by loss and pain and the absence of a huge part of my life.
No, today I was perfectly happy to let my loved ones live their lives and for the passage of time to occur without me. One less world to devote my energy too, and an unnecessary one at that.
I am, however, suffering from a dilemma. My birthday is March 31st. If I stick to my guns, it would mean that all the people in that "gallery of space and time" otherwise known as Facebook will not see that it is my birthday and I won't get all those "Happy Birthday" wishes on my wall, which always make me feel so good. Here's one I'm going to sit on for the next few weeks.